My Friend Rasha Mier is a very important person given by God. Just because we always have a time for each other
and maybe because she made me happy in times of some problems I cannot resolve. She was kind to me and very considerate
person that always keeps on my mind. She's decent and so simple in the way of clothing. She was generous on me and to her other friends. The most important values I'd like for her is her concern for me. I just don't figured out why.
I was amazed just because she always care for me. We always have time to spent with each other and we always text a message
to inform what is done instantly. I met her since we were First Year, she was so silent in that day
and nobody wants to talk with her. On that day, I approach her and ask what is her name. Her name is cute and so charming
to pronounce. Now we were on college days, we only have a few time to spent and less to talk about with each other.
1. Descriptive paragraphs are generally written using the present tense. Most of your verbs are in the past tense.
ReplyDelete2. Somehow, you provided some descriptions about the person but it would have been better if you added more information about the person writing than focusing on the reasons why Rasha Mier is important to you.
Rating:
a. Introduction - 3
b. Content - 9
c. Conclusion - 2
d. Coherence - 3
e. Diction - 2
f. Spelling - 3
g. Grammar and Mechanics - 5
h. Legibility - 4
Total - 31/60
1. The last part ("I met her since..." until "Her name is so cute...")could have been written at the beginning of the paragraph.
ReplyDelete2. The second sentence is actually a fragment.
Rating:
a. Introduction – 3
b. Content – 7
c. Conclusion – 2
d. Diction – 3
e. Coherence – 3
f. Spelling – 3
g. Mechanics and grammar – 4
h. Legibility – 3
Total: 28/60